Hold Me Tight or Don’t
by SnowLightning
Summary: “Ken,” Craig breathed, his words seeming to catch in his throat. “We don't have to talk.” Kenny offered up, turning to look at the dark haired boy. And then Craig kissed him. Crenny
1. Where Did the Party Go?

_1: Where Did the Party Go?_

Kenny McCormick stood outside Token Black's house, listening to the party taking place inside. He had just stepped out to get some fresh air from the stuffy party atmosphere, and his friends constant teasing about how the girl he had been seeing last school year had shown up hanging on the arm of another guy. He took a drink from his Solo cup, wincing slightly as the alcohol burned his throat, he was already pretty drunk, but Kenny supposes that's what happens when the only thing you have to eat all day is a Poptart and a hamburger from McDonald's.

He sighed and sat down on the corner of the rock wall near the side deck to enjoy his drink in peace before he returned to the party where, in his absence multiple thing could have happened. A) Stan would be complaining about Wendy or B) Cartman would be complaining about how none of the girls were paying attention to him or C) they would both still be making fun of him. Any of those options led him to decide that he was better off hanging outside the house for a little bit until Stan started making out with Wendy again or Cartman finally decided to revert to his usual, "Screw you guys. I'm going home!" schtick.

So, Kenny sat there on that rock just biding his time, enjoying his drink, thinking about all the people he had seen at the party. He had been surprised to see Craig Tucker indulging in party activities such as beer pong and some card drinking games, Kenny had never seen him at a party before so he has caught his attention. That's when Kenny had noticed that Craig was surprisingly attractive and he had never noticed before, which was unusual because Kenny knew of all of the attractive people in South Park. Then, the sliding door to the deck opened and all of a sudden Kenny was eavesdropping what seemed like a very private conversation involving the very person he was just thinking about. Because Kenny was positioned around the corner the two individuals on the deck were oblivious to Kenny's existence, so Kenny couldn't help but listen, even though he knew he probably shouldn't.

"Craig, p-p-please, you've had plenty to drink, ngh I think you should st-stop," Tweek said in his usual jittery voice.

"Fuck off Tweek," came the expected nasally tone from Craig, though Kenny could hear the slur from the alcohol coating his words. This was interesting, but Kenny couldn't help but think how wrong it was for him to be listening, but they weren't exactly whispering either.

"Craig, ngh I'm still your friend! I-I still care about you and you drank a lot of a-alcohol!" Kenny could tell just by Tweek's voice he was practically pulling his hair out.

"But you're not still my friend, and I told you not to come here and you did, so why would I listen to you about the alcohol?" Craig was really snapping at Tweek, so Kenny decided to peek around the corner and saw Craig alternating between a whole bottle of vodka and a cigarette in his hand, he was leaning on the deck rail, his back to Kenny. Tweek was pacing back and forth in front of the dark haired boy.

"They're my friends too Craig!" Tweek shouted.

"They were, Tweek, before you decided to go and cheat on me with Bebe, of all people! What happened Tweek? I would have thought cheating would have been too much pressure! Especially having sex with a girl when we barely have sex because you say it's too much pressure!" Craig shouted in return.

Kenny couldn't believe what he was hearing. The golden gay couple since fourth grade have broken up?!

"I've told you it wasn't like that ngh, but I said I was sorry and now you're just being an asshole."

Craig held up his middle finger and Tweek went back inside, slamming the sliding door. Kenny stood up, and despite knowing he shouldn't, went back into the house, dodging his annoying friends (Cartman was trying to chat up Heidi by bribing her with the weed Kenny had sold him earlier, and Stan was sloppily making out with Wendy on the couch). He went through the kitchen, and found another bottle of vodka, and quietly went through the sliding door to the deck where Craig was still sitting. Why he suddenly decided he wanted to approach Craig, especially after what he just heard, was almost beyond him, but Kenny knew it was not a sudden interest, but a strong curiosity about a very attractive, very stoic , dark haired boy.

"Go away," Craig said without looking at his new company on the deck, lifting the vodka bottle to his mouth, finishing it off without even a shudder.

"Can't a guy get some fresh air for a minute?" Kenny responded, pulling out his own cigarette and lighting it. Craig finally looked at him.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else," Craig mumbled, taking a long drag of his cigarette.

Kenny slowly moved toward Craig, sipping from his own bottle of vodka, though definitely not as heavily as Craig had been. He really brought it out here as a peace offering so Craig wouldn't kick the shit out of him. "Drink?" he offered.

"Sure, though, I am very drunk." Craig grabbed the bottle and took a small mp. "Mmmm, peach?" he tried to hand it back to Kenny but he missed and it slipped between the two and the quarter full bottle of peach vodka landed on its neck and shattered onto wooden deck. "Fuck!" Craig yelled and fell to his knees barely missing the glass.

Kenny couldn't believe he was seeing Craig in this state, he could tell he was trying hard not to cry. "It's okay, it was just some cheap vodka." Kenny picked up the large pieces of glass, the smaller ones had fallen through the slats in the deck, making the clean up easier than he had anticipated.

"It's not the vodka." Craig mumbled quietly.

"You want to talk about it?" Kenny offered, fully expecting the response to be in the form of a middle finger.

"No," Craig replied quietly. "I don't even know why I'm here. My friends obviously have decided they like Tweek better than me."

Kenny couldn't believe Craig was actually talking to him. Although the two were often friendly, he knew Craig's hatred of Stan, Kyle and especially Cartman. He had gotten himself into this situation, however, and now he would feel bad if he ditched the downtrodden boy. Besides, he had nothing better to do. "Why do you think that?"

Craig was looking angrier the longer he was on his knees on the deck, like he was about to seriously injure himself trying to punch through the floorboards. Kenny was ready to pounce to stop the boy from hurting himself but that never came to be because Clyde suddenly slid open the door and walked over to the two boys. "Craig," he said lifting Craig to his feet. "Let's get you home." Clyde was also drunk, Kenny noticed, but he was a good friend who was always looking out for Craig as much as Craig might hate it.

All Craig did in response was nod and follow Clyde around the side of the house to where all the cars were parked. Kenny followed them, unsure if he should just ignore it and go back inside, but he didn't think it was a great idea for either one of them to drive, so he followed.

"Fuck my car is completely blocked in," Clyde moaned.

"Mine's not," Kenny spoke up. Although he could barely afford a meal, Kenny had saved all of his summer job money for the past two years and finally bought himself a beat up old Buick Century. It was a tank and very useful when he was trying to keep Cartman away from himself, Kyle and Stan, because it had a bench front seat.

"Do you mind?" Clyde asked. Kenny responded with a shake of his head. Despite being able pretty drunk before, the glass shattering and witnessing the breakdown of a boy he barely knew mostly sobered him up. He was at least okay for the drive two streets away to get to Craig's, getting to his house all the way across town was likely a different story.

Clyde directed Craig to Kenny's car, he let himself be led, eyes closed most of the time. Kenny wondered how much of that first vodka bottle had been completely consumed by only him. Craig silently climbed into the passenger seat with help from Clyde and sat, looking straight ahead. Kenny waved Clyde off back to the party, and sat in the driver's seat. He put the key in the ignition but didn't start the car. He was feeling a little more drunk than he thought and wanted to wait a few minutes before driving. He knew he could survive dying but he was pretty sure Craig couldn't.

"We aren't moving?" Craig asked after a few minutes of silence.

"We will be, this car is old I have to let it warm up a bit first," Kenny lied.

"Only in Colorado would a car have to warn up in the summer," Craig burst out into uncharacteristic laughter. His nasally tone mixing with a hearty laugh, Kenny was surprised at how melodic it sounded.

"Are you okay?" He asked after Craig stopped laughing, and Kenny decided he was fine enough to drive and slowly started easing his way down Token's driveway.

"Fine," came Craig's short reply.

Kenny was not used to driving people around who didn't talk his ear off. Usually it was a girl he had just hooked up with or Cartman who was the only one of his 'friends' without a car. He wanted Craig to talk to him, but Kenny was a little off put by the fact that Craig didn't seem to want to. That never happened to Kenny. Usually people would spill all their deep dark secrets and emotions to him just because he was a good listener, must have come from years hiding his mouth behind an orange hood, people just got the impression he didn't have much to say.

"Angry." Craig said after they had already driven halfway to his house.

"Huh?" Kenny replied. He had been concentrating on driving and Craig's delayed response caught him off guard.

"Please don't tell anyone this," he started, "usually I can control my emotions, but I'm just so fucking angry." Craig balled his hands into a fist, and although Kenny could tell it was the alcohol talking, you know what they say, inhibitions are lowered and the truth usually appears when one is drunk. "Turn here," he pointed to the upcoming street, Kenny followed his direction.

"Who are you angry at?" Kenny asked as he scanned the street looking for Craig's house.

"Tweek, Bebe, me, my parents, everything," Craig responded, "Here it is." They pulled into his driveway.

"You can talk to me Craig," Kenny said, turning the car off.

"Why?"

Kenny shrugged and that was the honest answer.

"I'll kill you if anyone finds out anything I say to you." Kenny shrugged again. "I don't even know why I want to tell you. There's just something about you that makes me want to spill my guts." Kenny shrugged once again, silently hoping it wasn't because he had similar features to Tweek with his hair color and size. "Ken," Craig breathed, his words seeming to catch in his throat.

"We don't have to talk." Kenny offered up, turning to look at the dark haired boy.

And then Craig kissed him.

 **A/N: So this is my first time writing South Park FanFiction and I'm fairly new to the show. Hope this is okay, more to come.**


	2. Alone Together

**A/N: Nothing much happens in this chapter, but I have a plan and I will get there eventually. :)**

 _2: Alone Together_

Kenny pulled away from Craig, "That is not quite what I meant," the blond said.

Craig flipped him off and cursed himself for getting the wrong impression. It didn't help that a) he was still drunk, b) Kenny had a bit of a reputation whether it be boys or girls and c) he was fucking horny, he always got horny when he was mad. So not only did he make a fool of himself by letting his emotions out of check around Kenny, he also probably scared the other boy off with his unwarranted advances.

Craig got out of the car, despite hearing Kenny's protesting "Wait!" and leaned against the car door, catching his balance from the sudden movement. He heard the driver's side door slam and Kenny appeared before him. Craig suddenly had the feeling he was going to puke, and like Stan had done to Wendy when they were younger, Craig Tucker puked on Kenny McCormick.

Craig's mind then became a blur, he vaguely remembers telling Kenny where their laundry things were and bringing him up to his room. But, when he woke up the next morning with a blond boy leaning on his chest, Craig temporarily forgot everything. This was how Tweek slept, the closeness of Craig calming him enough to send him into a restful slumber. Craig began absentmindedly running his fingers through the blond's hair, thinking about how he could get up to get an Advil and some water for his pounding headache without waking him up.

"Mmm, that feels nice Tucker," a voice that was not Tweek's emanated from the blond.

Craig asked, "Kenny?"

Kenny rolled over, he was wearing one of Craig's Red racer shirts and only his boxers. "The one and only." Kenny laughed, "Don't you remember last night?"

Craig thought hard, he remembered going to Token's last night with Clyde, he remembered seeing Tweek there, and he remembered drinking a lot.

"Don't worry pretty boy. I didn't touch you," Kenny scoffed and climbed out of the bed, pulling on a folded pair of jeans.

"Thanks," Craig muttered.

"For what?" he replied as he pulled on a black hoodie.

"Driving me home, staying with me." Craig said quietly.

"Don't mention it. Literally," Kenny said and left Craig's room, a couple minutes later he heard the loud engine of Kenny's car and heard him drive away. Craig was still laying in bed cradling his pounding headache when his little sister who's real name was Patricia but everyone called Ruby, violently opened his door.

"Please," Craig groaned putting his pillow on top of his head. He just needed to wallow in his miserable existence for a while and figure out what the hell had happened last night that ended with McCormick in his bed.

"You owe me," she said as she plopped herself on the end of the bed. "And you're lucky dad isn't home yet."

"Why?"

"First of all I had to help Kenny got his clothes washed because you puked on him and then you were too drunk to actually show him where the washer was, I found you trying to tell him to put his clothes in the dishwasher." Ruby smirked, Craig groaned. "And then if I hadn't called Dad this morning to tell him he should take a detour home from Grandpa's to bring us breakfast from our favorite diner he would have been home by now and ran into Kenny, who by the way is perfectly nice and you were a complete jerk to."

Craig took the pillow off his head, "How do you know he's so nice, maybe he just drove me home to get into my pants. I've heard the rumors!"

"'Cause I'm friends with Karen and we've all hung out together before. Kenny is super sweet, and yeah he's kind of been with a lot of people, but he has a good heart. He's always looking out for Karen and making sure she is safe and has enough to eat and gets new clothes and everything. I"m pretty sure he"s not the person who always leaves the morning after. Karen told me she think he's too nice and that's why he's been with so many people because he puts his whole heart into it and then those girls just want him for his body."

"Great, thanks for making me feel better Patricia!" he said sarcastically using her real name for emphasis.

"Whatever Craig, you were so fucked up last night after you puked on Kenny I'm pretty sure you called him Tweek a couple times. You're lucky he didn't just leave, instead of staying here to make sure you didn't vomit and choke on your own puke," with that she left Craig to wallow in his hangover until their dad arrived home, breakfast in tow.

Craig spent the rest of his day doing nothing until he decided his brain couldn't take thinking for itself for any longer, he needed a break from his little sister and his father who despite having a big heart was always asking Craig about Tweek even though he knew they broke up and Craig did not want to talk about it. So, Craig hopped on his bike and rode it into town to see a movie.

Kenny was bored, just as he always was when he was made to work the ticket booth. Although he had spent most of the day running the previous nights events through his head, that didn't exactly satiate his boredom. The longer he thought about a drunken Craig almost opening up about his feelings and then kissing him, the more he was intrigued.

He hadn't known why he was drawn to approaching him last night but now he was sucked in and thirsty to learn more. It also didn't hurt that he had been painfully single

all summer due to his limited time off and inability to bring anyone out on a proper expensive date. Many of his nights off were spent watching movies because he could get in for free.

So, with only a little under two hours left in his shift he saw Craig Tucker park his bike on the near by rack and approach the ticket booth. Kenny could tell he hadn't realized it was Kenny in the booth, or he would have said something, he was too busy looking down at his wallet.

"How's the hangover?" he mused, breaking Craig's concentration on his money.

Kenny could tell his voice had startled him because he looked up suddenly and his face was turning all red. "Hey," was the dark haired boy's response.

Kenny took no time in taking this opportunity that had been graciously handed him and printed off a ticket to a movie with about the same runtime as the time he had left in his shift. He handed it to Craig, "See this movie and then meet me by your bike."

Craig didn't protest, perhaps because he was too stunned by how forward Kenny was being. He handed Kenny the money for the ticket and proceeded into the theater. Now all Kenny had to do was wait, and waiting gave him plenty of time to plan what he wanted to do.

When Craig emerged from the theater, Kenny stood by his bike and waved at him, quickly lowering his hand when he realized Craig's shifty eyes looking for anyone else he knew. But there wasn't, and Craig went over to Kenny.

"Hey Tucker," Kenny said. "Wanna go on an adventure?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Alone, together?" Craig asked.

Kenny nodded.

Craig shrugged, "Sure," came his unexcited reply.

"Grab your bike we're taking my car." Kenny said and started walking to his car leaving Craig to bring his bike.

When Craig got in the front seat after stuffing his bike in the trunk he asked Kenny, "Where are we going?"

"Peru," Kenny said with a chuckle.

"Don't even joke about that!" Craig exclaimed with a horrified expression on his face, remember how horrible his last adventure including Kenny had been.

"Relax Tucker, we're just going to go to a place I usually like to keep secret, but you looked like you could use it too. It's a quiet place, I think not many people know about." he started to drive.

"Are you going to rape and kill me?" Craig, always the optimist asked.

"What?! No! Of course not, is my reputation really that bad?"

"No, I just don't know why you're suddenly so interested in me and showing me your secret quiet places."

"Maybe I thought you looked like you had nothing to do and you're the only person I've thought would enjoy me secret quiet place."

So, Kenny drove for about 15 more minutes, Craig didn't say anymore. They drove around Stark's Pond to the side filed with hiking trails people rarely used anymore. Kenny parked his car in the usual spot and turned off the ignition.

"This is where your spot is?" Craig asked incredulously, looking at the dirt parking lot and no view of anything,

"No, my secret place is a little bit of a walk so pull on your big boy Red Racer underwear and suck it up." Kenny smirked, he had seen Craig's Red Racer underwear the night before.

Craig gave him the middle finger but followed the blond haired boy into the woods anyway.


	3. Trees

_3: Trees_

"Where the fuck are we going McCormick?" Craig asked as he followed the blonde boy through the woods. He wasn't convinced yet that this was a good idea, but he followed anyway. He looked down at his feet to avoid tripping on any roots sticking out of ground, only glancing up periodically to make sure Kenny was still in front of him.

"Here," Kenny said suddenly stopping. Craig looked up from his feet and peered around Kenny to see a glorious conglomeration of old trees. They were all leaned up against each other, shaped like a teepee, and in the center of this teepee made of trees was a fire pit, created by a ring of rocks. Around the rocks there were logs for sitting and also a pile of twigs and branches, presumably for the fire pit. Craig was in awe, he didn't know what to say.

"I call it the tree-pee," Kenny said and sat himself inside the tree-pee on a log. He pulled a little baggie of weed from his jeans pocket and a small bowl from his hoodie and began preparing it.

Craig entered the tree-pee, sitting on another log across the fire pit from Kenny. He watched Kenny packing the bowl of weed, shocked that he was bold enough to assume Craig would have no problem with it (he didn't). "Did you build this?" he asked.

Kenny stuffed the now partially empty baggie of weed back in his jeans pocket and emerged with a lighter instead. "No, that's the best part, I found it like this last summer. It's been my favorite place since, and I've never seen anyone else out here." He put the bowl's mouthpiece up to his lips but stopped before lighting it, he asked Craig, "Do you mind? It's a little bit of a tradition of mine. I don't come here without being high, or getting high. It adds to the atmosphere."

Craig shook his head. He had never smoked weed before, he'd only dabbled (deeply) into alcohol. He was slightly curious though, and he wondered why Kenny would bother bringing him here, "So that's all you do here? Sit and smoke weed?" Craig started piling little bits of twigs in the fire pit.

"Mostly, I also think, and I've always thought if I ever wanted to talk to someone about something personal this would be the place to do it." Kenny took a hit and held it he bowl out to Craig. "Plus it's so quiet, sometimes I need to get away from my house."

Kenny was opening up about his life to Craig, did that mean Kenny expected him to do the same? He wasn't sure how he felt about that. He didn't talk about his thoughts to anyone, except last night when he had lost it, but that was induced by his alcohol consumption.

"Umm," Craig took the bowl from Kenny's outstretched hand, also taking the lighter he offered. Craig held them both, unsure of what to do.

"Do you need help?" Kenny smirked. Craig rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but notice how his eyes lit up when he smirked, like he had just opened a new toy at Christmas.

''I've just never done this before, fuck you," he put the piece up to his lips like he'd seen Kenny do and brought the lighter up to the weed, but it was more complicated than he expected and it wouldn't stay lit. Craig was concentrating so hard on the task in front of him he didn't notice Kenny stand up and move to sit next to him.

"Please let me help you, you're wasting my weed." Craig jumped at how close his voice was to his face, but obliged to his request. Kenny took the lighter and placed his hand on top of Craig's, holding the piece to Craig's lips. He clicked the lighter, "Suck," Kenny whispered, and although Craig wanted to punch Kenny for telling him what to do, especially in such a suggestive manner, he did as he was told. Kenny released one of his fingers and Craig felt the rush of hot smoke enter his lungs. Because he was used to smoking cigarettes he immediately released his breath and blew out the smoke.

"If you wanna get high you have to hold it in longer," Kenny told him, so next time Kenny brought the bowl to his face and told him to suck Craig held in his breathe for as long as he could. He could feel a sudden wave of relaxation, it was like all the stresses of his life melted away, continued to melt away the more hits he took.

The two of them sat there smoking Kenny's weed for what seemed like hours to Craig, but was probably only half an hour. Kenny talked, and Craig vaguely listened. He talked about shallow stuff, how he hated South Park, how Cartman was a stupid fat asshole, and how he wondered if all reality shows on TV were actually scripted. He ranted about that last one for a long time.

Craig was high or at least he thought he must be, because he was beginning to notice little things about Kenny he hadn't before, like the shape of his lips when he smiled and talked, how his nose had a light smattering if freckles, and how dark the circle were under his eyes. The boy looked like he hadnt had a good night's sleep since he'd been born. And he wanted to ask Kenny a lot of questions. It was taking all of Craig's willpower not to ask Kenny about he things he had noticed or where he got his drugs, why he needed a quiet place away from home, and why he decided to bring him here when Kenny had a lot of other, better people he could have brought. People he considered his friends.

"Damn," Kenny said, suddenly cutting off another rant about how stupid Cartman was, the change in tone caused Craig to jump slightly, kicking him out of his reverie.

"There's only one hit left," Kenny said frowning at the now empty baggy on the log beside him and the smoldering bowl in his hand.

"It's all yours," Craig said playing with the zipper on his hoodie, feeling embarrassed that he hadn't been listening as well as he could have been to Kenny's words. He hoped Kenny wouldn't ask him any direct questions.

"We'll share," Kenny replied and took the last hit in his mouth.

Craig didn't understand how they were meant to share, that is, until Kenny pulled Craig to him, engulfed his slightly parted lips with his own mouth and released the inhaled smoke into Craig's mouth. Craig inhaled out of instinct and pulled away from Kenny. He watched him sitting there smirking, eyebrows raised. Craig released his breath and sent a glaring look at Kenny through his hazy high.

Kenny lifted his arms to stretch, slightly exposing a thin strip of his stomach. Craig suddenly was overcome with the urge to kiss Kenny, but Kenny was standing now, and very far away.

Craig was too lethargic from his high to stand, "Come back," he said very quietly, mostly to himself, but Kenny had heard him. Kenny sat back down, very close to Craig.

"Yes?" he asked, pulling his hood off his head, revealing his dirty blond hair, sticking up in every direction. And he looked wonderful to Craig, so he kissed him. And this time Kenny didn't pull away.

Craig couldn't believe how amazing this felt. Kenny's lips were incredibly soft, and despite Craig having extreme dry mouth from smoking, Kenny didn't seem to be effected. Craig's senses felt like they were on fire, everything felt heightened. When Kenny touched him his nerve endings sent signals throughout his body that, yes, this was an extremely good feeling. Kenny's fingers creeped under his hat and through his hair, it felt like heaven, and his other fingers that were creeping under Craig's shirt on his back sending sparks shooting through his body. He. Oils feel himself getting a little too excited for his current situation because his mind was admittedly hazy.

Craig leaned in closer to Kenny deepening the kiss and then Kenny parted Craig's lips with his tongue and ran his tongue over Craig's teeth, he sure was happy he no longer had his braces that had plagued him all through middle school. Craig moves from Kenny's lips to him neck and gently nipped and kissed it. Kenny let out a small moan, causing Craig's excitement to surge. He kissed his neck harder, sucking, knowing full well he may leaving a mark.

"Wait," Craig stopped, frozen with that one word, had he done something wrong? "This is happening?" Kenny asked.

Craig nodded and continued to kiss Kenny, just enjoying how wonderful it all felt, especially without his brain trying to make sense of it all. In this moment he was not a human with a brain, but just some physical being made of nerves.

The two of them jumped apart when they heard a small branch in the woods, Kenny didn't know how long they had been making out, but it had been quite a while, judging from his chapped lips and extremely uncomfortable erection. Craig was looking around for the source of the noise, he looked panicked, so Kenny said, "It was probably just an animal."

This answer seemed to satisfy him because Craig went to lean back into him, but Kenny decided they were probably about due to leave anyway. He stood up holding a hand out to the dark haired boy, "Let's get you home, it's about to get pretty dark."

Craig grabbed his hand, "I am still very high," he said. Kenny smiled at him, noticing how not only were his eyes dilated but his cheeks were extremely flushed and his lips slightly swollen. Though Kenny couldn't tell if his companions face was flushed from the smoking or the kissing, he did think he was very attractive in this moment.

"'You are," Kenny laughed at him gently and began leading them back through the woods. His erection making the trek quite uncomfortable for a while.

They were almost back at car when Craig spoke, "Was this a one time thing?"

Kenny shrugged, he had immensely enjoyed himself. He didn't want to be in the business of being friends with benefits as a rebound, but he also didn't want to immediately rule it out because, let's face it, he was extremely attracted to Craig. He decided to give him a non-answer, "I guess that depends. We smoked a lot of weed, so if we want to do this again I'm probably gonna need you to contribute some money." Kenny couldn't believe that's what came out of his mouth, of course the poor kid with the drugs was asking for money.

''Okay." Craig responded even though Kenny knew that hadn't been the answer he was looking for.

They walked in silence the rest of the way to Kenny's car. It was now almost 8 o' clock and the sun was mostly gone. Kenny wished winter days lasted this long too. "Kenny," Craig said once the two were in the car. ''Thank you again," Craig's eyes were still glazed over but his words were flat and coherent. Kenny just nodded, unsure of what to say. "Really, for some reason I'm just less angry than I was earlier, and it's not because I am high."

Kenny turned to Craig, it had meant a lot for him to even say that, he knew Craig hate showing any part of himself that wasn't cynical and emotionless. He wasn't like that however, and said to Craig, "I don't know why I find you so interesting, and I don't know why you followed me, but I'm glad you had a good night. It was a lot of fun," he started the car.

"Ken, I think we should do this again!" Craig's voice was shaky, like he had forced himself to say the words.

"I already told you—" Kenny started.

"No. I mean, us, together. Damn it, I hate talking about feelings, but I am attracted to you, and—"

"Jeez Craig, the tree-pee is where all the serious talking is supposed to take place." Kenny didn't want Craig to say anything he would regret.

"Well, I think our actions may speak louder than words in this case."

Kenny smiled and started driving back toward town. "Perhaps you're right."

"I always am." Craig replied.


	4. Holding On To You

4\. Holding On To You

Craig lay on his bed a week later staring at his phone that just wouldn't chime. He wanted to see Kenny again, but he also didn't want to be the one to initiate it. He wasn't used to this, he was used to Tweek who would call him every time he twitched. There were things Craig missed about Tweek, but constantly being texted and called wasn't one of them.

But, nevertheless, he was bored, which was surprising for 'boring' Craig Tucker. He had watched his favorite show, reread his favorite comics, hell he'd even started in on the summer reading books he was supposed to read for English class that he hadn't been planning on reading. Something had to be done or his brain was going to explode. He didn't want to deal with Clyde, Token was busy with working for his dad for he summer, and no one else came to mind for people he actually wanted to hang out with, well except for one other person.

He opened up a new message and typed **Come over.** He didn't know what the boy's response would be and a minute after sending it he was regretting it. But then, not even a minute after that came the reply: **K.** That's It?! K? What kind of a response was that?

Craig scrambled around his room to make it presentable for his guest, although he doubted that he would care much. When everything was put in its place and Craig had started to worry that he wasn't going to show up, the doorbell rang. He heard his sister open the door, footsteps on the stairs, then a knock on his door. Craig opened it hastily to see his sister with knowing look on her face with Kenny clad in a black hoodie standing behind her.

Craig grabbed Kenny pulling him into his room and slamming his door shut while giving his sister the middle finger.

"Sup?" Kenny said as soon as the door slammed shut.

Craig wasted no time putting his lips to Kenny's, Kenny jumped slightly at the sudden impact but then began kissing him back ferociously. His tongue ran along Craig's lower lip, he sucked and bit at it, begging him to open his mouth to let his tongue in to play.

Craig had been playing the last time over and over again in his head, thinking about what he would have done differently, what he wished would have happened, and how different it felt from kissing Tweek. He had replayed it so many times he thought he'd had the feeling memorized, but everything felt so much different now that he was sober. But, not a bad different, just different. Kenny pulled away after a few moments seemingly out of breath.

"So this was a booty call? Because I'm not sure what I think about that," he smiled.

"No," Cray responded, although he had no idea what his reason for inviting him over was, except that he had been bored and Kenny was anything but boring.

"Then let's smoke cigarettes and maybe talk a little. I'm tired, and as much as kissing you is amazing, I haven't had a cigarette all day." Craig was slightly disappointed but he wasn't going to kick out his only escape from what seemed like external boredom. If he had to talk to Kenny for a while, at least it was something to do.

"Whatever," he replied.

"Tell me about you, Craig."

And that's how the rest of the summer basically went. Craig would text Kenny, he would come over, they would shoot the shit, make out, and then Kenny would leave. Kenny found it comforting to have someone other than his usual friends to talk to. They would always ask him about his family and sometimes Kenny just wanted to get away from that, and Craig never asked anything too personal. So most of the time Craig's aversion to serious topics with serious feelings was a blessing.

Sometimes though Craig would ask him to meet him at the tree-pee or come over on particularly bad days at home, coupled with bad days at work, and Kenny would get frustrated at the lack of substance in their conversations, when he wanted to vent but Craig would steer he conversation to lighter topics. Even his occasional hook ups let him vent without asking questions, Craig wouldn't even allow the words to come out of his mouth. Those days made Kenny angry. Those were days Kenny would get exceptionally high, and Craig didn't seem to notice.

They had been doing this for over two months now and he still didn't know anything deeper about Craig than what his favorite color was (blue). The only time Craig had been introduced to Kenny's home life was by circumstances that could not be steered away. Kenny was sometimes grateful for that day because he think it allowed Craig to feel more comfortable about Kenny opening up a little bit.

They had been at the tree-pee just starting to smoke a joint Kenny had rolled previous to meeting Craig there. He had had a bad day at work, and when he left the house less than an hour ago his dad had been getting high on drugs much harder than Kenny's weed. He had been hoping Karen would stay out all day until he got back from seeing Craig, but when he got a phone call he knew it was Karen. He had almost been expecting it, though he wished he were not,

"Shh," he hushed Craig cutting him off from talking about his newest issue of the Red Racer comics. He answered his phone. "What's up Karen?" he asked.

"Dad-dad is hitting Kevin and M-mom tried to stop him and now they're all shouting and I'm scared." he could hear the falter and whimper of tears forming in her voice. "They're throwing things now." Kenny heard a loud crash in her background.

"Can you leave?" he asked, hopeful she could slip out undetected.

"No, I'm in the hall closet because they were coming down the hallway and I was there and Kevin yelled at me to hide," she sniffed, "I'm so scared I think I saw a knife! I've never seen Dad like this."

"Stay where you are, I'm on my way," he hung up his phone. "I have to go, you can come or stay but a don't have time to drop you off". Kenny stood up and started sprinting to his car. Craig followed quickly behind him, barely keeping up.

As soon as both boys were in the car Kenny took of speeding down all the back roads, speed limits were no longer an issue to him. Every horrible scenario was running through him mind, and he was having a hard time keeping tears from forming in his eyes. He wished he didn't have to drag Craig into this, but unfortunately it was unavoidable. None of his other friends had even witnessed an incident like this, of course they all knew Kenny came over sometimes with a bruised eye or fat lip, and sometimes Karen was in tow, her face stained with tears. But they didn't ask, they just helped, no questions. Sometimes he wished they would ask, but when Kyle did once Kenny had snapped at him. He couldn't explain it, but Kenny guessed it wasn't really their job to know the intimate details of his life unless, well, they were intimate?

He didn't speak to Craig until he stopped in front of his house, "Stay here, don't call anyone, especially not the cops," he rushed inside where he saw his father brandishing a knife, his brother had a cut on his face and his mother was shouting at both of them.

Kenny slipped past them, careful to avoid their line of sight and went directly to the hallway closet where he slowly opened the door, "Karen, it's me," he whispered. He held out his hand and she grabbed it. He led her around their still yelling, still weapon welding, family and out the side door. They had been lucky they hadn't been noticed, and Kenny hoped they would calm down soon and not hurt each other more than they already had.

"Wait, Kenny, Dad's gonna kill Kevin!" She was still crying, tears staining her face. There have been bad times before but never this bad, never that they had feared for anyone's life.

"Shhh, Karen, Kevin can handle himself. We need to take care of us, I need to take care of you." He kissed her forehead. "What are they fighting about anyway?" Kenny asked as he led her to his car. He knew this would all blow over, hopefully, and everyone would ignore this had even happened tomorrow.

"Kevin got fired, and stole something of Dad's to sell and Dad wants to kick him out and Mom sad no and I then it just blew up. When Kevin called Dad a dead beat that's when he started throwing things. I cut my hand on a piece of glass." She held up her cut palm, she must have caught it when she had crawled into the closet. "Where are we going to go?" Karen opened the passenger door and froze when she saw Craig.

Kenny had forgotten all about Craig, "Can you move to the back Tucker?" He was focused on taking care of Karen, he hoped Craig would be compliant.

But, Craig moved without a word, and Karen ignored him.

"Where are we going go?" she asked again. Kenny shook his head, unable to think of somewhere to go. Usually they could go to Kyle's, but his mom was around and she was nosy. He didn't want to bring Karen to Stan's because Randy would jump to action against his own father, and that wasn't a great idea at the moment. Cartman's house was not an option.

"You guys can stay at my home for the night," he turned to Karen, "I think you know my sister Ruby?" Craig offered. "My dad's out of town, again." Kenny made a mental note to ask Craig why his dad was always out of town when he wasn't preoccupied with taking care of his sister. He turned to Karen to look for her approval, she nodded. Kenny knew that she and Ruby got along, and often hung out at school and during lunch, but Karen didn't bring any of her friends home and he doubted she ever talked about her home life at school.

They arrived at Craig's house in silence, Craig whispering sometime to Ruby who ran to get a band aid for Karen's hand and ushered her to the couch with some bug cozy blankets. Kenny was glad Ruby was so kind, it was a trait her brother didn't show, but Kenny knew was tucked deep inside.

Once Kenny had made sure Karen was okay and settled in with Ruby watching some teen soap opera that would keep her mind off of their fucked up home life, Kenny took his time making his way to Craig's room where he knew he would be waiting for him. That's when Kenny realized he was angry. If he hadn't been with Craig maybe he could have stopped the fight before it even started, maybe Karen wouldn't have to spend the night away from her parents in fear they might hurt her. He burst into Craig's room and lunged at him, fists balled, ready to take out his anger on Craig's face. But Craig caught him and held onto him, hugging him tightly as tears Kenny didn't know existed ran down his face. They stayed like that for a while, Craig holding him, Kenny crying, until Kenny spoke, "My parents—"

"You don't have to explain," Craig cut him off, typical Craig, avoiding the emotional topics.

Kenny's nose flared in anger, "Fucking let me explain! You never let me talk about anything real, and this is fucking real.im not just a person you make out with, I have a life with problems too!"

Craig's eyes widened but he didn't say anything so Kenny continued, "My parents are fucked up. Normal conversations turn into shouting matches and disagreements turn into fistfights. We can't call the police because they'll take Karen away because even though I'm 18 now, social services can still do that and will do that, but she needs me. She needs to stay with me."

"Kenny—"

"No Craig, shut up, let me fucking talk. My family life is fucked up as a result I'm fucked up. I put on a good show but deep down I think I'm just as shitty as my dad. How can I not be, it's in my blood. Karen is the only thing in this world that is more important to me than anything else. I know we don't talk about shit like this, I know emotions scare you. But this is my fucking life and its real, and if you want to keep doing this, you'd better get used to it."

Craig pulled him into a hug again, "You're not a shitty person. I got you."

And Kenny closed his eyes wishing this moment of feeling safe and comforted would last forever.

Since that day Kenny had been opening up more about his family, his personal stuff, hoping Craig would open up to him about his own family. Kenny enjoyed the talks aboutnothing and exploring Craig's body with his mouth and hands (they'd yet to cross into more sexually intimate territories but sometimes he wondered if Craig didn'ttrust him to go there).

Kenny hadn't seen Craig let out any negative emotion since that party when they first kissed, so he knew it must still be there and it couldn't be healthy for him to keep it allbottled up like that. But, as much as he tried without pushing the subject too much, Craig's private thoughts stayed Craig's private thoughts.

 **A/N:** This chapter is dramatic, sorry. Some fluff to come and then more drama. I have a plan for where this is going ito just taking me a while to get there.


End file.
